Real time, changes, and goodbye

I just watched a video from Friday.

I was supposed to watch it live, but internet in the country is bubkis so I couldn’t. Then again, very little in my life happens in real time anymore.

I watch “live feeds” on fb days after they’ve posted. Texts might not get to me for hours. I watch my favorite television shows when I can.

Shrug, some things just aren’t important manage in real time. I do get back to the texts as soon as I see them, though.

There are things which happen in real time. Climbing under the desk to hide with E when she asks, taking N and my g-d kids to the pool to play, checking in on Mom and Dad, watching basketball practice to make sure I can tell N something awesome she did, thanking Nik for doing something I needed to do before I could ask.

Maybe I should back up.

Much of the time out in the country over the last year or so, has been spent with someone I knew a lifetime ago. When Frank and I split up – my request, not his, but he agreed and is happier now – Nik helped pick up the pieces and figure out what was next. Chilly nights by the fire place, talking, tears from both of us, more talking and then some, helping in the garage, working on the house, long nights under the stars, hot days by the creek, wild four-wheeler trips, the quiet of the garden, the sound of laughter – my laughter again – the pieces fell into place.

His dad’s comment of “Court’s around an awful lot.” was met with a “Dad, shit hit the fan in the best possible way and we’re riding it out to see what’s next.”

Turns out what was next was him and the country. And then his girls.

I met them over the summer and we all hit it off. We’re spending a lot of time together and when I’m not around, they ask him where I am and/or when I’ll be back. We’re all adjusting to changes. A LOT of changes.

One of the biggest for me is stepping back from the pool. I’ve turned over my supervisory shifts, stopped teaching group classes and am winding down my private lessons. When that’s all done, I’ll be just working enough to keep Dad’s membership and helping out when I can.

I’m going to miss my kiddos there, but Nik will share his with me.

I think it also means an end to this space here. I’ve loved our time together but I don’t know if I feel like writing. “Baking in my Bathing Suit” just doesn’t fit and much like an actual bathing suit that doesn’t fit, I find it chafing and constraining to be here.  I can’t write here anymore.

If I end up writing somewhere else, I’ll stop by to let you know where to find me.

Until we meet again. If we’re meant to, we will.

Coffee Date

Oh hey! Fancy meeting you here. I haven’t seen you in forever. Thanks for coming by. What’s new? What’s in your cup?

I just have boring coffee with coconut creamer in my Perfect is Boring cup. Today it was all about getting hot caffeine in the cup to put in my belly. You know what else went in my belly with it? A mini Snickers bar. After a brief sugar detox, I’m better at not eating as much again and stopped at just one!

(I also left the yarn store with just the one skein I needed last night even though it was buy 2 get one free. Who am I? Not to worry, I have to go to the other yarn store today for a particular crochet hook size I don’t have so there’s time to find myself again.)

So what have you been up to? There’s a lot going on right now like finally listing my house and starting to pack. GASP. Like spending a whole lot of time with the guy I’m seeing and his kiddos. Like buying a shed to keep stuff in while I figure out what’s next. There’s also work, spending time with other loved ones, filling in at the pool when I can, watching child hood favorite movies, and participating in a photo challenge.

Oh and Christmas/birthday crafting. You know, the usual.

I’m excited for several of the crafts. The first one because a friend of a friend reached out to me to try and recreate a holiday stocking her grandmother made for them. Dear Sweet Granny is 99 now and crocheting isn’t an option so I’m giving it a whirl. I guess blathering on and on about my hobbies did pay off. Another one I’m excited for is a  hat because one of the kiddos is excited about yarn I thought she’d like and has picked out a pom pom hat to be made from it. She seems excited to have something made just for her.

And the bday and Christmas pj pants. That’s another thing I have to get cracking on for my g-d kiddos and a few others.

Maybe I shouldn’t have listed all that out. Now I’m nervous it won’t get done! Oh well, it will. Just breathe Court. It’ll happen.

So are you ready for the holidays? I’m excited for next week because it’s Thanksgiving and I like stuffing and pie. I fully plan on sourcing some gluten free versions of both and consuming as much as possible. I might have to make some durkee beans too, but the crispy fried onions are tough.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving dish?

Coffee date

Coffee on the bus to work last week. 

Why hello there! How nice of you to meet me today for a cup of coffee. Dare I say you’re looking lovely today? Your kindness, humor, and panache are shining through!

I don’t have anything exciting to say today other than I’m looking forward to the weekend. I took this swim session on and it’s been a long one.

I know it can be a distraction from deployment #4 but really, I’m just not loving teaching the group lessons right now. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE most of the kids I’m working with this session. They are super great little buddies and I make sure to bring my best to the pool when I’m there, but group classes are really draining.

Yea, I’ve still got it and can do it, but I don’t know if I want to do it. Luckily, we have a 2 week close down and I can figure it out.

I think I’m going to go back to just my private lessons and filling in. I have some other things needing my focus these days.

I want to finish my house, do crafts, and spend time with special people and having to go to the pool until noon or 3pm every Saturday really cuts into that time. Yeah it’s only a few hours there and in the water, but it’s at least another hour or more travel time, mentally prepping each lesson for the different kiddos and dealing with some of the parents. (Other parents are amazing.)

My private lessons? I like that a lot more. Those kiddos are delightful, inspiring and fun. I’ve developed a sort of friendship with their parents that goes beyond the pool deck. I leave teaching those children recharged and happy. Even their not good days bring smiles to my face and we laugh.

Group lessons aren’t always the same. Some days I have to dig deep for even leaving feeling like I got anything done. My playcheck should be more happy and laughs and less “Why am I doing this again?”

Maybe I’m just tired and need a break? Find something else to inspire me? I don’t know.

Wow, this got a little heavy! I didn’t mean for that to happen, the words just sort of came out of my fingertips. I guess I had to write it out to think it out.

I am curious though. What inspires you? When you’re zapped, what brings you back to something you’ve loved previously?

One of mine is “making things” but that’s a post for a different day…

#4

Dark bars are our favorite photo backdrops

The Bro is off for deployment #4. Like I told his wife this morning when we were texting, I don’t want to say it gets easier each time, but in some ways it does.

It helps that (for now) he’s in a relatively safe place although given the current world political climate I’m under no delusion they wouldn’t hesitate to send him elsewhere if needed.

We deal with that if it happens.

It’s not what I’d choose for him, but I fully support his choice to stay in and do what he knows, loves in his own way, and is really good at. He’s my best friend and little brother. If I got to choose? I’d wrap him in bubble wrap, rainbows, and kindness. For those who have met him, you can guess about how well that would go over.

We don’t get to choose though, so we do what we need to do to get through and keep it together state side. Truly, one of the reasons I keep it together (mostly) (some days) is that I know it makes it harder for him to be away when we’re not okay.

I can’t tell you how many people have asked “How do you keep it together, Court? I’d be freaking out/a basket case.”  Shrug. We just do. Until we don’t. Then we lose it in a big way, take a deep breath and get our ish back together – hopefully, before he finds out.

Really? Denial and distraction. Bully Hill profits will be good for the next few quarters if you want to get stock now. (I’m only partially kidding.)

This is the fourth time we’ve faced this. The first time I learned to crochet. That’s worked out pretty well for me. The second time I ran. And ran. And ran. I was up to 5 miles when he came back and I decided that was enough of that nonsense. But I can still run if I want/need to. I think the third time we were getting ready to buy a house and started trying for a baby. That one didn’t work out so well for me, but I was teaching a lot, life was pretty decent, but it wasn’t my best time.

But now I’m getting the house sold, babies aren’t something that are particularly on my radar, and the thought of training for something running wise doesn’t excite me.

I have some amazing friends who have made wonderful suggestions to distract me such as writing essays to help other families, trying new recipes, boxing, yoga-a-day, volunteering with the local ASO, cross stitch, learn to play guitar, and a few other things that are escaping me. Oh. School.

For now, I’ve started a yoga-a-day group on facebook and if you want in I can add you. It’s a great group of supportive ladies who love me and/or the Bro and I know it won’t just be about yoga.

They are my touch stones to get me through #4. We’ll do it. Together.

Good things 2017: Week 39-40

The tree has angel wings.
You can’t convince me otherwise.
Hi.

It’s important to remember the things that are good in life. It reminds me how blessed I really am and also helps to ease the sting of the bad. I’m incredibly lucky, there’s more good than bad (Knockonwood!) and I want to document how thankful I am for it.

Last week hit the ground running as a crappy week and I was having trouble digging deep to find moments that stood out as being good.

Saturday was a really good day and it let some of the good things from the week before shine through.

Here’s a few of the good moments from the past couple of weeks:

• Seeing the acorn squash coming in
• Running into old friends
• Hugs from my G-d kids
• Being able to just take a sick day in the middle of the week
• My shows being back
• Seeing two of my best girls in the same day (yoga and dropped apple pick up)
• Criminal Minds date!
• Finding what I needed to see when I was literally and figuratively lost one day.
• Getting fun pics of giant pumpkin carving
• Gluten free chocolate chip cookie mix
• Upstairs being done! (Minus cleaning/organizing/packing)
• Decorating for fall with pumpkins and lights
• Grilled cheese sammiches
• Drinks and laughs with new friends.
• Laughing with NotSoSweetPea about ridiculousness.
• Dinner with Daddy-O
• Quiet dinners (even when they’re really late) with the guy I’ve been seeing.
• Helping out MsBix and a delightful if brief dinner with her

Good reads:

• “The president is a festering turd.” – BatGirl I don’t even know where to start with this. It didn’t make me smile in the least, but it’s an important read. Trump Rolls Back Obama’s Birth Control Coverage Rule
• This is sort of interesting. What does your favorite color say about you according to color psychology?
• I beg to differ. Love is an essential ingredient in baking. You can totally tell the difference when I’m feeling love to when I’m not FDA Says “Love” Is Not an Actual Ingredient, Sorry — Food News
• The Cheerios are actually pretty good…10 Ridiculous Things That Are Pumpkin Spiced
• It’s amazing what qualifies as necessary for a Bloody Mary bar these days – I Went To a 35-Foot-Long Bloody Mary Bar, and It Was Everything
• McSweeneys List: Classic Works of Children’s Literature as Described In My English Thesis
  

Favorite Photo:

I can’t actually share my favorite photo with you because it’s of someone else’s kiddos and I don’t do that without permission. This one is pretty good though.

Favorite Song:

There’s some class acts in country music. This one is heavy after what happened in Vegas, but it’s a good one.

How have you been? What made you smile? Tell me about one of your successes? Read anything good this week?

Coffee-tail date

Hey there! How’s your week been? Mine has been the kind that you want to end with a drink, but I have an early morning tomorrow so I won’t. How about a cup of coffee instead?

Well, technically it’s what those young kids call “Happy Hour” at the moment but let’s be real for a minute – being on time is only sometimes my thing. (More often now than ever though!) Being able to roll with it and adapt is most often my thing though so there’s that.

If you want a cup of coffee with a little something something in it, I’m good with that. (I recommend Frangelico, Vanilla Vodka, and Chocolate Liqueur in it with some creamer and sugar. Or Kahlua, I do enjoy that here and there also.)

As summer’s come to a close, I’m finishing up the hard seltzers I spent the summer enjoying and moving to the slightly heavier hard ciders and red wines.

(If you’re curious my preference for the hard seltzers goes White Claw > SpikedSeltzer Hard Seltzer  > Truly. There are other brands, but those are the ones at my local stores.)

I like the less sweet hard ciders the most. There’s some that are hopped and they’re pretty tasty. The dry ones are usually okay by me too. I tried a Hibiscus and Ginger bottle the other night and it was good but had a very strong flavor. I think this week the Hometown Homicider (not pumpkin spice) is my favorite one. (It’s not technically gluten free though so I maybe have to pick something else next time.)

As for wines, a friend turned me on to a pinot noir by Layer Cake Wines and it’s darn good. Bully Hill (Love My Goat) is a long time great choice for my liking, but I’m down to try new wines.

I’m not opposed to a solid cocktail. I’ve  had some good ones and if the bartender is a mixologist I might ask them to surprise me (not including bananas, peaches, or kiwi flavors). I’ve had some good luck with doing so. There was an elderberry something or other with basil or mint in Buffalo that I’ll never forget (well more than I’ve forgotten about it already. The Bro’s wedding was a really long night.)

If we were having a cocktail/mocktail/beer/glass of wine/etc what would you be having?

So do you have anything planned this weekend? I’m heading to yoga in the morning and then to spend the day with the guy I’ve been seeing and his kiddos. I don’t know what we’re doing yet, but I bet it has something to do with pumpkins or apples!

Hope you have a great one. Enjoy that drink.

Thursday Three – Things I’m finding annoying lately

Magic red pill for my sinuses.
I don’t really know what it is, but it’s the only thing that’s been working lately.

Today has been a day already. When I got out of the shower I thought about climbing back in bed and hiding under the covers.

And my stuff? Doesn’t even include the bullpucky going on out in the world. I’ve long stopped watching the news and right now I’m only reading carefully chosen information because The Bro is gearing up for a deployment next week.

Right now my allergies are bothering me and the pressure in my sinuses, ear and jaw is borderline disorienting. That side of my face feels swollen even though the mirror says it’s not. I’ve been having weird/bad dreams again and not  sleeping well. I don’t like my lunch options today.

I know. I know, first world problems. I’m a lot luckier than many and I’m thankful for that fact.

But there’s a few other things which have really gotten my goat lately. Maybe I’m just more easily annoyed because of my going on 4 weeks of sinus/ear/jaw discomfort and trouble sleeping and whacked out dreams.

Also, I’m hungry. That never results in something good.

Who knows, but here they are:

1. Starbucks Baristas’ attitude (except for my friend El) – Holy heck people! Do you have to be so snotty about what you call your sizes? I WANT THE ONE IN THE MIDDLE OR THE BIG ONE. I don’t care what you call it. I don’t go to Starbucks often, but now that they offer gluten free breakfast sammiches, I might like to go more. Stop being so dang pretentious. It’s not helpful or inviting. Also, don’t get me started on what you call it when you put an iced drink in the blender. I swear you change that just to mess with me.
2. The same 3 cars I see on my work commute who don’t know where the exit is. It’s on the left. There’s a sign for it a few miles back to let you know. I’ve been seeing you at least once a week for months now. The exit hasn’t moved, I promise. Get over before you need to be there. Also, you could wave or smile at me in thanks for letting you in front of me or you know, stop trying to cut me off?
3. Random Guys on Words with Friends who start a game just to flirt with me. Yes, it’s flattering you think I’m pretty, want to tell me, and flirt. News flash: Words with Friends isn’t a dating app. There are thousands of dating apps. Use one of them. I’ll be polite when I tell you I’m not interested, but once I do? Cut the shit. I’m playing as a semi-intellectual mini escape from life, I’m not interested in you. (I’ve since changed my pic from my fb pic to one of bugs dancing from my phone. Hopefully that helps.)

Wow! I feel a little better now. What’s been getting your goat lately?

Just some numbers

I’m not about to tell you how many miles I’ve driven this year, how many pounds I’ve lost and gained, or any sort of numbers like that. (Like hell I’m sharing that last one right now…)

What I want to talk about is birthdays.

That kind of number. And how, in an odd way, how they seem to connect us.

This past weekend I realized that my SIL whom I absolutely adore and the guy I’ve been seeing have the same birthday. So does one of my uncles. And two of the babies born into my life this year.

Yeah, I know all of their birthdays individually if you asked, I’d tell you the day, but it didn’t connect until recently.

(That’s 5 people on the same day, yo.)

It continues though:

• My grandfather and my cousin.
• My other grandfather and the guy I’ve been seeing’s dad.
• My high school best friend’s sister and I.
• My college best friend, my mentor/ best boss, and a blog love Kate.
• Frank and DevL.
• My g-d brother and g-d son.
• MsBix’s and BatGirl’s grandmas.
• Mehmere and Sue’s Nanny.
• The Bro and Nanny’s mom.
• 4 of my dear dear friends all share the same day.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. All of these people with special connections in my heart, sharing special days.

(Incidentally, most of the time when there’s someone I don’t like? They share the same birthday as someone else I don’t like. You might think there’s a lot of people I don’t like, but there really aren’t – maybe half a dozen or so. How did they end up on the same days? There’s literally one exception to this, but I think under different circumstances, we might have actually have been friends.)

I get it that there are only so many days in the year that there has to be some sort of over lap, but there’s too much overlap for coincidence if you ask me.

What does this mean? I have no idea. I just know that most of the special people in my life are connected by birthday to another special person in my life almost without fail.

Do you have birthday overlap? Do you think I’m a little out there for thinking about this stuff? It’s okay if you do.

Coffee Date

The Dove chocolates make me smile.

Why hello there. How are you? What’s in your cup? Today is just plain old coffee with coconut creamer in mine. The options today were limited unless I wanted super dark, blueberry, or Vanilla Biscotti – which I didn’t, – so plain it was.

Was your week a quick one or one that dragged on and on? I think mine fell into the dragged on and on. Every day I woke up hoping it was Friday, but alas, it was not.

Not to wish life away, but sometimes it just needs to be the weekend. You know?

I spent some time Sunday and Monday working at our booth at a work event. There was some seriously good food and candy. And bonus! Ben & Jerry’s for a treat before it was time to leave. I hope I can go back next year!

But then I wasn’t feeling great Wednesday so I stayed home and just spent some time resting. And I pulled the masking tape off the steps so there that’s something productive. They look great. Every little thing I finish makes me want want to stay a little bit. But I have to go. It’s time to move on for many reasons.

So, did you see the season premieres of your favorite shows? NCIS was alright, I think I have to watch it again. Criminal Minds was pretty good. Scorpion was decent. I don’t want to ruin any of them for you if you haven’t seen them yet, but I have to comment that I’m excited Scratch won’t be plaguing the Criminal Minds team anymore! #wheelsup

It’ll be interesting to see how my shows play out. Once Upon a Time isn’t for another couple of weeks, but it seems like half the cast isn’t coming back. We’ll have to see how that plays out. I don’t think it’ll be the same without Emma, Snow, Charming etc.

Anything exciting planned this weekend? I’m working again and Sunday if it’s nice I’m going to meet up with my sister in law and niece at a color run. Not to worry. It’s a short one! Well, I have to run and refill my cup, but I hope you have a lovely Friday and great weekend.

Reading More: The Surprise Brides series

Gideon (The Surprise Brides) by Cynthia Woolf was  provided to me at no charge through my partnership with Netgalley.  The opinions are my own. You can see other books I’ve reviewed here.

 

Otherwise titled “Reading more: Gideon, Ethan, Jamie, and Caleb”

It was pretty much straight up slightly naughty cowboy romance but short fun reads. (Amazon rated it’s steamy level as “Sweet”, I might give it a little higher than that.)

I’m not going to review all four because they were pretty cookie cutter but we can talk about the Gideon one since I had to review it for NetGalley

From Amazon:

The Surprise Brides: One determined mama, four reluctant brothers, four mail order brides. Meet Jamie, Caleb, Gideon and Ethan.

As the local preacher, Gideon Fraser often talks about the many virtues of a good marriage, but that doesn’t mean he has the slightest inclination of claiming a bride of his own. No, he’s been burned before, by greedy women who only want the prestige and money the Fraser family name can provide. When his mother’s devious matchmaking results in his unexpected wedding, Gideon looks at the beautiful face of the woman who has sworn to be his and wants nothing to do with her. But Gideon is in danger of losing his heart until he discovers the truth. His new wife lied to him…about everything.

Ruby Haller needed a husband and fast. A treacherous man promised her the world, took her virginity, and left her without a father for her unborn child. When her father, the town minister, found out she was expecting a child, he offered her hand in marriage to the meanest man in town. Becoming a mail-order-bride appeared to be a safer choice. But instead of a rancher, she ends up the wife of a stubborn, bull-headed preacher and he’s none too pleased when he discovers her duplicity. Worse? The local town beauty, who had been courting him for years, is determined to make her life a living hell.

But Angel Springs, Colorado is a small town that can inspire big dreams. It’s nearly Christmas, and as these two hearts heal, a holiday miracle just might be within reach.

While I can’t condone Mama’s actions, they certainly kicked off a bit of an adventure for her four sons and their surprise brides.

Was this book a great book? Meh. It was, however, enjoyable, fun, a little naughty, and piqued enough of my interest I am feeling compelled to read about the other three brothers. It was a great and quick read I found rather entertaining.

Is this something you’d read? Why or why not?