bakinginmybathingsuit

I owe Lent a breakfast

bakinginmybathingsuit — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 15:24:00 +0000

Today marks the start of the Lenten season, which you may or may not be aware of or even care about all that much. I’m not a practicing Catholic, more like “recovering”, but I still like the idea of giving up something or using it as an opportunity to better myself. The question becomes, what should I give up or what should I do to better myself?

The idea of Lent is one of sacrifice. You’re supposed to give up something that means a lot to you. Many people look at this as a sort of kick-start to any of those pesky resolutions or goals you have for yourself or a chance to kick a bad habit. Many of my friends give up something for Lent and that list ranges the gamut of things that they feel they should give up. Examples? Chocolate, cursing, potatoes, booze, meat, and soda name a few.

Here’s the rub. There isn’t much I do excessively or like enough to warrant giving it up. I don’t drink that much, or eat that much chocolate, etc so it’s hard to find something to actually give up. What to do?

Social media? A food item or place? It’s not like I drink enough anymore that it would be a problem to give that up. Decisions.

Last year I gave up “The Lazy” and I think that along with peanut butter and peanut butter products (I LOVE PEANUT BUTTER!) I’m going to do that again this year.

Here’s my plan:

I will be running or doing a work out every day, even if it’s for 20 minutes total.
I will put my laundry in the laundry basket instead of on the floor
I will make the bed each week day (I get up after Frank.)
And I will take the few minutes each day to do the things that normally get over looked because I’m a busy person.
No peanut butter or peanut/peanut butter products. Before you ask, I don’t love other nut butters but Cookie Butter is amazing so that’s out too.

(I’m hoping by doing these things, our apartment will stay in it’s semi cleaned up state and maybe just maybe I can get passed my slightly addicted to peanut butter ways!)

So even though I’m not a “Practicing Catholic” I’m participating in this Lenten Season. Maybe it’ll help form new habits, maybe it won’t, but at least I’m giving it a go.

Are you giving something up for Lent? If so, what are you giving up? Why did you choose that?

* I owe Lent a breakfast because I forgot today was Ash Wednesday and that it was the start of Lent. I had peanut butter and jelly on left over french toast this morning. Oh well.

Feeling more like myself

bakinginmybathingsuit — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 17:56:14 +0000

To say that the last week was more like surviving a tornado than living life would be an understatement. I tried to do the right thing and went back to work too soon. I was shaky the first day back and it went down hill from there. Each night I slept less, each day it got progressively harder to maintain, and I was finding it emotionally exhausting to keep it together.

At one of my bosses encouragement, I took another day off. (Truth be told, I might have had to anyway seeing that I saw 4 am Friday morning and not because I was up early. )

Friday I managed to fall asleep for a few hours, took care of some things, met a friend for a little shopping and hung out with that guy I like a whole lot. BatGirl arrived late and we had a lovely evening with Bully Hill Love My Goat Red and Cookie Butter on waffles.

It was healing – sleep, downtime, friends and a dozen or so moments of feeling Mehmere there with me.

The weekend was filled with just what I needed: distractions, good friends, good food and an accomplishment. By the time Monday rolled around I was feeling refreshed and ready to go, but there was a problem…my apartment was empty and I wasn’t sure I could handle that.

I stopped off at Voice of Reason’s house on my way back to my place and shored up the mental/emotional cracks that were threatening to break. We chatted, planned and I left feeling that I could handle the quiet.

I cleaned the kitchen a bit, grabbed a drink, laid down on the futon and turned some NCIS on, knowing full well that I had no where to be for several hours and could fall asleep again…and I let myself drift off thinking about the great points from the weekend.

Notable moments from the weekend include but are not limited to the following:

GenWar singing Red Solo Cup
The marking of Frank and my second anniversary
Baked french toast
Someone wearing two pairs of glasses to watch TV
A trip to the ER
Em trying to wear my red shoes,
Showing off my parents wedding album
Spending time with some of the most delightful people ever.

Thank you, everyone for helping. I’m feeling more like my happy self again.

Puppies and Purple

bakinginmybathingsuit — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 17:07:17 +0000

Even before my grandmother passed away, I found myself gravitating towards colors and items that I knew she would like. Several purple shirts caught my eye (its her favorite color) and owl mugs and cookie bags came home with me from the store with me,and I have purple roses from my uncle sitting in my kitchen. Even though she was still physically with us, for a while, mentally she was not really and it was (and still is) my way of keeping her close.

Last night as I decompressed from the day, I was flipping through the channels and came across the Westminster Dog Show. She loved this damn show and her favorite part was to comment on how so many of the people with the dogs looked like the dogs. She found it absurd that they would intentionally try to dress in a color to match the dog and often thought they looked like their dogs too. Personally I think she felt bad for the dogs and I think I do too.

So I watched it for a bit to see if any of them did such things. Overall, from what I saw they did not. (Although the woman in the sparkly suit and black flats? What’s that about?)

I realized two very important things watching the Westminster Dog Show last night.

First, I am not a little, fluffy dog person (I was pissed that Ch Palacegarden Malachy, a Pekingese won) I much prefer the Boxer (above, photo from here) or the Dalmatian (photo from here ) to those little frufru dogs.

And maybe more importantly, my grandmother will be with me no matter where I am. Her spirit is free to roam as she sees fit and to join us in whatever it is that we do. As I sat last night in a messy ponytail, purple tshirt, yoga pants and glasses trying to wind down, I laughed at the frufru dogs and shook my head at the sparkly suit lady, knowing full well she would have too. She was sitting there with me, watching and laughing.

And that made me smile.

Happy Talentod’s Day to You!

bakinginmybathingsuit — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:56:54 +0000

I finger painted this on my phone for you for Talentod’s Day because you all rock. (It’s much better than my attempt at an owl which looks like a monster from Shel Silverstein’s books.)

Talentod’s Day. It’s a holiday I made up a few years back to celebrate love in all shapes.

(Really, I went to text “Happy Valentine’s Day” back to someone and misspelled it and got “Talentod’s Day”. I liked it so I started using it as a party theme. Why not?)

Any day can be Talentod’s Day. You just have to celebrate love of some kind. Love your friends? Love your shoes? Love your job? Love your new house? Love your parking spot? I don’t care what it is, fricken celebrate it already!

You can love a whole lot of things and people in different ways. Celebrate this love today and every day or any day. (Preferably with good food, good people, good wine and dessert.)

Trust me, there is always something to celebrate.

Life is short. Celebrate it.

(If you’re having trouble finding something, let me know and I’ll help you find it. Trust me I can.)

What are you loving and celebrating today?

The Grand Dame is gone

bakinginmybathingsuit — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:41:33 +0000

from my facebook.

Mehmere, I hope you have a beautiful garden, really good bridge partners, as much black licorice and ice cream as you’d like, dark beer, and purple everything from now on. I find peace in knowing you’re no longer hurting and beauty in the life you lived. I love you, Mehmere dear, you beautiful thing you, and will miss you greatly.

She passed away in her sleep Saturday night and no, I didn’t go visit her one last time before she did. (A decision that not only I stand by, but my parents and brother support 110%)

I’m not ready to talk about it yet. Yesterday was about just keeping moving, today is about dealing with it. We will see what tomorrow brings.

Thank you everyone for your kind words of love and support. Right now, I’m just trying to be the best granddaughter I can and honor her memory.

Friday Fill-In (2.10)

bakinginmybathingsuit — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 20:35:31 +0000

Haven’t been up for cooking/baking lately so today you can have some Friday Fill-Ins instead. Enjoy

1. When it comes time to make a decision, I weigh the pros and cons and go with my gut.
2. “Celebrate Everything” that must be the rule.
3. Ma says, “head high and keep going, but duck when shit is thrown at you”.
4. I can pat my head at the same time that I rub my belly.
5. I never saw what my friend saw in him.
6. We need to figure out how to use what we have, not a new invention.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to hanging photos and wall stuff, tomorrow my plans include sushi with some ladies and a movie with an old friend and Sunday, I want to pick up my big girl camera and go see my Nanny!

BRB, well soonish.

bakinginmybathingsuit — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:34:20 +0000

I’m having a hard time with a bunch of stuff. I don’t want to get into it, but nothing I’ve started typing or saying is positive right now so I’m just not going to say anything.

I’ll be back when this passes. And it will. It (almost) always does.

I’m trying to focus on the good and be productive, but I’m struggling with that too. Me, Miss Optimism, See the Silver Lining in Everything, herself, is having a hard time finding the positive and that in turn is stressing me out.

So I’m taking a break from trying for right now.

Instead, please tell me something good. Tell me about a recent personal triumph. Tell me a joke. Tell me your favorite food. Just tell me something good please.

I’ll be back. Soonish.

Happy Birthday to Miss AZ

bakinginmybathingsuit — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:17:57 +0000

Loving what you do or growing where you’re planted?

bakinginmybathingsuit — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:24:04 +0000

I was recently asked if I love what I do…and the answer is complicated. If you had asked me as recently as two years ago the answer would be very different than it is today. Previously, I did not, at all. I was bored, I was anxious and I wanted out. Here’s the thing though, I don’t know what it is that I would LOVE for a job and didn’t see anything that struck my fancy to go for. I figured the status quo was better than leaving and finding out that it was worse elsewhere.

Somewhere along the line that changed. I began realizing the opportunities that my job affords me. Time, so far really good health insurance that I don’t pay much money for, bosses I like, autonomy, opportunities to try new things within our organization, making contributions to the organization and our members that others may not be able to do and I’m getting better at what I do. I also found out about some bonus perks to take advantage of if I was willing to do the work.

I think the phrase is “Growing where you’re planted”. One day I decided that I was going to embrace my current situation and make the best of it. Be the best that I could be and dive into it. It wasn’t easy. I had some mental stumbling blocks along the way that required other conscious decisions and some hard work to over come, but I feel like I’m doing it. I’m making a less than stellar situation work through reframing and hard work.

And you know what? It’s working. I’m getting notes from my boss thanking me for specific contributions on projects, I’m getting recognized by other departments for the ways that I can help them with their projects and other department heads are seeing the ways that I shine.

Don’t get me wrong, some things are still shitty and feel like the rain just keeps falling, but those situations or days are par for the course in any job…and don’t forget (not to sound cliche) for a flower to really bloom it takes water and fertilizer, you just have to know what to do with them when they come along and apply them the right way.

So no, I still don’t love what I do, but I find that when what I love has a paycheck attached to it, I don’t love it as much any more so maybe it’s better I have grown so much where I’ve been planted.

How about you?

Photos from the week Vol 3 & Give Away Winners!

bakinginmybathingsuit — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 16:41:12 +0000

No, you’re not missing something, I didn’t do this last week.

The dress from last weekend, see the blue shimmer? LOVE IT

I was really disappointed there weren’t “dazles” like the box said.

I see some of the prettiest sunsets from my office.

Ok, I got a little OCD on the organization that is my new desk. Shuddup, I like it.

Giving part of myself to help others. Literally.

The winners of the First Baking in My Bathing Suit give away are Sue, Autumn and meleah rebeccah! (I have three packs to give away and BatGirl said she didn’t want any stationary. Works out well if you ask me. Ladies, email me your addresses. I’m pretty sure I have them, but they’re not handy.